pretty princess, perfect prince

There was once a princess of legendary beauty. She was also probably the most spoiled and superficial princess to have ever existed within the 4 kingdoms of Acirfa, and asked her father to find her a Perfect Prince to marry. The unassuming king acquiesced and called all eligible suitors to the kingdom to meet his daughter. Pretty Princess complained about each and every one of them: he is too short, he is too tall, he is too nice, his laugh is funny, he is not rich.

Finally the king offered a handsome sum of money for a Perfect Prince for his daughter. Men came from as far as three continents away to court this beautiful princess. None made her happy. A few countries south from her father’s kingdom, an old ogre heard this news of the handsome fee for the superficial girl’s hand in marriage. “You must be perfect,” he thought. So the ogre began to walk to her kingdom. On his way there he found a man who had a perfect nose. “Can I borrow your nose?” he asked the man. “I will pay you for it on my way back home.” The man agreed and the ogre now had a perfect nose. In this same way he came across a man with a perfect smile and negotiated a similar exchange. He passed a man with a perfect laugh, a perfect jaw line, perfect arms, a perfect personality, and borrowed all these things to present to the Pretty Princess so that he could have her riches.

When he arrived at the kingdom, glowing in all his Perfect Prince glory and handsomeness, crowds parted to make way for him. Pretty Princess saw this man and thought … “There. That’s him.” She quickly agreed to marry Perfect Prince and the king gave him the money he had promised. On the way out of the kingdom, Pretty Princess was so mesmerized with the way Perfect Prince looked, and the way the kingdom responded to his laugh and perfect personality that she did not notice how tightly he squeezed her hand as they walked. Once out of the kingdom, they passed a man with ugly and hairy feet. Pretty Princess gasped at the appearance of this. “I will take my feet back. Here is your money,” Perfect Prince said. And he reclaimed his feet. Pretty Princess shouted at Perfect Prince to explain what he had done, but he remained quiet and squeezed her hand tighter as they continued. In this same way, they came across a man with confidence, a man with perfect eyes, a man with charisma, and a man with a perfect stomach. Perfect Prince returned all of these things and handed over small fees, the sight of which caused Pretty Princess to now fight him to return her to her father’s kingdom. However, he did not return her. He only squeezed her hand tighter and tighter, eventually and fully returning to his true physical and psychological self, and to his cave where he lived in the presence of her hollow mind, her misery and other things his lies had bought.

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